Why I Got My Son a Tutor

When my younger son started 7th grade, homework time was battle time. Even if I had removed his phone from his grasp, he took forever to get homework done. Every night it was the same thing: what should have taken 45 minutes, took two hours. Across multiple subjects getting work done took hours. I was stressed, and so was he. The only thing we seemed to focus on was his homework issues. It seems that I traded being mom to being the homework police. This was not sustainable. To preserve my relationship, I got some outside help. Problem solved!

Here are the lessons learned and the benefits my son and I both received when I outsourced homework and studying guidance to a professional.

To Improve Our Relationship

An outside tutor significantly enhanced my relationship with my son. I learned that the struggle over studying and homework was a battle I was never going to win. Shifting the responsibility of to someone on the outside, allowed me to be in a more supportive rather than supervisory role in my child’s academic life.

This is a factual statement! Some of our client-parents said it best:

Getting a tutor for our kids has allowed my husband and I to go back to being parents and relinquish the role of educator or tutor.
–Laura T., Armonk, NY

My son has a great relationship with his tutor. It’s taken some stress out of our relationship so we don’t have to constantly remind him to do homework/study.
— Debby CT, Greenwich, CT

I know that kids can only listen to parents for so long before they tune us out (especially teenagers!). Our son definitely appreciates that he has someone else to talk with about learning which takes the pressure off us as a family to achieve the goals we have set together.
–K. P., Redding, CT

My Son Was Not Interested In My Studying Advice

My teenager did not want to hear my studying advice. Getting a tutor was a game-changer. Instead of being viewed as the “nagging and stressed parent,” the tutor stepped in as a neutral, knowledgeable figure. He delivered the same study tips and strategies, and general know-how but with greater acceptance from my son, who was clearly seeking independence.

I Didn’t Know the Material

Especially if the subject was math, I was not able to help because I didn’t understand it myself. Getting him expert guidance gave me peace of mind knowing he was getting the explanations he needed and more importantly, could understand. Here’s a truism: the best support doesn’t always come from knowing everything, it comes from knowing someone who does.

To Boost Confidence and Academic Performance

As a parent, I know how much struggles in school can weigh down a child’s self-esteem. They might become frustrated, withdrawn, or even lose interest in learning altogether. I obviously didn’t want this for my child.

The tutor created an encouraging and supportive learning environment, where questions could be asked and mistakes made without judgment. As challenges were overcome confidence grew – not just in the subject at hand, but in the overall approach to learning.

He Needed to Learn How to Learn

Getting a tutor went beyond getting my son to learn the material by rote memorization. I wanted someone who could be his personal learning coach (another inspiration for starting Successful Study Skills 4 Students). This meant teaching my child how to learn, not just what to learn. This was so important for the development of critical thinking skills, learning how to embrace challenges and see mistakes as opportunities to grow. And it worked.

In fact, A study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that students who received tutoring saw a 17-percentage point increase in their growth mindset, setting them up for lifelong success.

Final Thoughts

The decision to hire an outside tutor for my child offered numerous benefits that extended well beyond academic improvement. Ultimately, getting a personal teacher was not only an investment in my child’s education, but also in our relationship. Looking back at it, I would have not done it any other way.

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Does My Story Resonate with You?

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